Hello, Full Moon.... you explain a lot.

The last few days, I've had some weird and crazy clients. I was just talking about it this afternoon... The clients who make decisions that drive you crazy, the ones who seem to completely disregard the wellbeing of their pets, and the ones who refuse to believe that their pets are hurting. I never put 2 & 2 together... until I was driving home tonight. I saw the full moon - I smiled, thinking it was beautiful, and it was nice to have a bit of light to drive home by. And then I laughed, knowing that my crazy couple of days had just been explained.

I never believed the hype about the full moon, until I worked in the animal ER. The strangest cases come in around the full moon. People act incredibly unpredictably around the full moon. And the full moon seems to draw the crazy people out of the woodwork. Its really an incredible phenomenon. I paid attention to the full moon as a way to prepare for what kind of shift I might have. But now that I'm back in a "regular clinic" I tend to lose track of the lunar cycle. It doesn't have quite as much of an impact on my day to day shifts. But every now and again, I am reminded of the power it seemingly holds.

Maybe it explains the owner who wanted to postpone a non-routine surgery for over a month, even though the dog is in pain. Maybe it explains the owner who keeps letting her broken dog run around the house while she pens the healthy dogs up, and then wonders why he's not healing. Or maybe not. Maybe people are just people, and they need someone to tell them that dogs hurt the same way we do, and reprimand them for repeatedly ignoring doctor's orders. I don't know. But either way, I'm glad I have a long weekend coming up.

fruit-cake with a side of rat poison

Well, its been a REALLY long time since my last post.... I've just been busy with life, I guess. But this little gem was so good, I absolutely had to share!


One of my receptionists just came to me laughing SO HARD... Here's the conversation she just had:
"Hi I was just making fruitcake, and my dog got into the rat poison. What do I do now?"
"Excuse me? Did you say you were making fruitcake? And the dog got into the rat poison?"
"Yes."
"How long ago did this happen? And how is the dog acting now?"
"Just a few minutes ago. And he's fine. He's just sitting on the couch watching Sesame Street and waiting for the fruitcake to come out of the oven."

Bwahahahaha!!!! She really wanted to ask if the fruitcake was for the evil in-laws, or some other "we don't claim them" relative.... As it turns out, the woman had a mouse problem, put some rat poison in the low cabinet behind the mixing bowls, and since the bowls were out of the way, the dog got into the poison. However, our staff STILL got the memo not to accept any fruitcake brought into the clinic this holiday season! ;)

its in the BLUE bag

Oftentimes, in the course of a veterinary exam, the topic of pet-foods is brought up... what kind is best? what ingredients to seek out? which ones to avoid? what brand is worth the extra money? Many of these questions come from the pet owner... and one of the most common questions is "How much should I be feeding her Doc?" Inevitably, my next question is 'What are you currently feeding?' You see, its kind of like asking "How much food should I eat every day?" without mentioning if your primary diet is Chocolate Cake or Spinach Salad. Most of the time, my clients respond with "Science Diet Senior" or "Purina Pro-Plan Large Breed" ... but often, people forget what brand they buy. So they will say something along the lines of "Well, I think its Eukanuba... or maybe its Beneful... its that one you see on TV all the time. You know, the one in the BLUE BAG!" Each time I receive this answer, I smile inwardly.... thinking to myself 'I wonder exactly how many "blue bags" of dogfood are on the market?' Wouldn't it be nice if it were that simple? Nine kinds of dog-food - Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Purple, White, Brown & Black. No fussing with "low cal" vs. "weight control" - no worrying about "urinary health" or "diabetic diets." Just give me the Blue Bag, please. Yes, that would make trips to the pet store easier - and then, I really would know which food my clients were feeding, just by knowing the color of the bag. But, we would lose access to many of the health benefits of Rx veterinary diets.... and I wouldn't have any more fun guessing games to play during the course of my day. So I guess I'm happy with things as they are. I would, however, love it if once - just once - someone simply said "I really don't know" instead of looking at me like I'm crazy when I can't win their guessing game.

"I'm not argumentative"

"I'm worried about my cat" says Mrs. Contradictory. "He's been occasionally vomiting and is just not eating as much as normal. He's lost about a pound in the last 2 weeks... I'm really concerned that he might have kidney disease, or diabetes, or liver problems." Yes, those are all things to be concerned with, given Sylvester's history... So lets run some bloodwork and see what's going on, ok? "Yes, absolutely. I want to do whatever you feel is needed to make Sylvester feel better."

... so we draw the blood ... and I recommend some symptomatic care for Sylvester to make him feel better. Nothing too involved, given that he's stable and I want to know the results of his bloodwork before we nail down a treatment / management plan. I offer some SQ Fluids (a pocket of fluids placed under the skin that is slowly absorbed - it helps keep the patient hydrated despite his decreased water intake) - an injection for nausea - and some appetite stimulant pills (that are given once every 3 days). Does this sound like a good plan to you? Well, before I can get those words out of my mouth, Mrs. Contradictory is cutting me off. "No, I will not do any fluids. Or injections. Or medications. When Sylvester was here last month, that guy Doctor gave us some eye meds - it was easy, and simple. Then at the recheck exam, that other lady Doctor gave us a medicine to give by mouth - and that was a nightmare. So I am not doing any medications this time." Ok, but I can give injections and you won't have to do anything... and Sylvester will feel better until we find out what is wrong. "No. I will not do it. I'm NOT being argumentative, I am just refusing complex treatment." Ohhhh-kaaay. Then we will do the bloodwork and nothing else. "Yes, that is what I want. Bloodwork only. I really want him to feel better."

So I get the bloodwork back... no major issues with diabetes, renal failure, etc. So I call Mrs. Contradictory - and again I recommend some symptomatic care... thinking she will refuse. Surprisingly, she willingly agrees to make another trip to the clinic for basically the same treatment I offered in the first place - and she is very thankful for my phone-call and treatment recommendations. Sometimes I just don't understand.

True Colors

I've noticed something. Stress - and stressful situations - bring out a person's true colors. Maybe that color is blue... down in the dumps, constantly complaining, woe-is-me. Maybe that color is red... anger, rage, yelling, cursing. Maybe that color is green... peaceful, easy going in the midst of the storm. Maybe that color is yellow... bringing a little sunshine to those around them despite the chaos. Do you want to know the true character of a person? Observe them in stressful situations. Watch carefully. At first they may be able to disguise their true colors. But when the stress continues... when the stress is long term... when everyone around them is stressed as well? Then. Then their true colors will emerge - and you will know what is at the heart of a person.

hhhmmm

I suppose lately I've had a run of fairly 'normal' clients & patients... This is strange for me. Even my recent relief shift at the ER Clinic was relatively uneventful.

Today, though, I did meet an interesting patient. A dog named Toby with a painful left front leg. He had a little swelling at the area of the carpus (wrist) - the rest of his physical exam was normal. And he was a sweetie. Kinda nervous, liked hiding under the chair his owner was sitting on, but definitely a sweetie. And he captured a piece of my heart. Why? Because he looks & acts exactly like my own dog. Same type of Heinz-57 mutt. Same big brown eyes. Same nervous & excited tail wag. And same "I'm so excited to be going HOME" hopping-walk as he left the clinic. Its a good thing that I have a full house with three big dogs already... and that Toby has a good home. A great home, actually - with a family that loves him very much. Toby is one lucky dog - and his leg should heal up just fine. Sometimes, its nice to have "normal" patients and clients.

Iguana Inspector

I heard the funniest story today from a coworker... Let me set the scene:

Another doctor in our practice had just finished examining a sick iguana. The doctor stepped out of the room, and his assistant was getting ready to take Mr. Modest up front to check out. Mr. Modest unzips his jacket and tucks the iguana inside... Our assistant thinks this is a little odd, but hey, it was a cool day, the iguana needed to stay warm, and we see a lot of people who don't use a carrier for their cat, rabbit, etc. (Here comes the strange part.) Just as she's getting ready to walk out of the room, she realizes that Mr. Modest is unzipping his pants, tucking the iguana's tail into his pants, doing a little tail-situating-shimmy, and then proceding to zip up his pants back up with the tail still inside them. At this point she's thinking "aaarrrgghhh, brain bleach! WHERE is the brain bleach?!?"

Our assistant clears her head, and then decides to find the doc who'd just examined the iguana. She tells him the above story and waits for the inevitable look of "eeew - I just touched that iguana, and he probably carried it into the clinic the same way." LOL - after hearing the story today, several of us decided that the doc's new nickname should be "the iguana inspector."